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More Way Precious Kid Stories *****Satch-Fans-Only*****

As I write this, Tyler is in his room strumming away on his fake plastic guitar with the plastic strings and the non-functioning tuning pegs and the gonzo totally fake fretboard, making the most gawd-awful noise that can't even be called music because the strings don't even make real notes . . . he just came in and told me, smiling from ear to ear with three teeth missing, the song he was playing was "Big Bad Moon Two".


Children. Gotta love em.

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We 23 Sep 97

Watched /The Satch Tapes/ with Aaron and Tyler. Even though they've seen this before, they remained glued to the set the entire time, regardless.

Their favorite video is "Big Bad Moon". I've carefully explained to them, "KIDS, DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME. You would never play your electric guitar in the rain, you would never take your amp out into the rain, you would never play with a frayed cord, the electricity you see is just a special effect put on by the film-makers - it isn't real," etc.

Still, even with all these cautions in place, today when we watched the video, as the solo wound down on "Big Bad Moon" and Joe rose up all


I heard Tyler (6.5 years old) breath out with completely innocent awe, "Coooooooooool".

(my sentiments, exactly!)

Ever since he saw this video, Tyler continues to insist, "When I grow up, I'm going to have an amp WITH WHEELS!"

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Fr 26 Sep 1997

Aaron (almost 10 yrs old) and Tyler had been chasing each other around the house, Aaron holding a stuffed cat (he loves cats but we can't have a real pet right now so he has several stuffed cats he plays with) and making meow noises, and I was ready to climb the walls. I told them sternly to stop this. About five or ten minutes later, Tyler was repeating the phrase "meow, MEOWWWWWWW, MEOW, meow, meow, meow, meow" and I interrupted him and told him as nicely as I could (with my head about to split) "Tyler, you've got to stop that, it's driving me crazy." He then explained, ever so sweetly, "I was just singing 'Going Down' with the words meow".

(I laughed so hard! When Lindsay asked me why and I told him, he got a kick out of it, too.)

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Th 2 Oct 1997

The cd player had /SWTA/ on, and when "Always WM,AWY" came on, Tyler got his little white canned-power-chords guitar and put it on. He didn't hit any of the power chord buttons, but rather, he did the most amazingly accurate imitation of Satch playing "Always With Me, Always With You" right along with the cd - brought his fingers up the neck towards the body of the guitar, and had his hips going just like joe - then at the end, right at the exact moment as in the video, he took the guitar off, laid it carefully down, and walked s-l-o-w-l-y away. (It was too precious!)

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DISCLAIMER: /The Satch Tapes/ essential viewing in order to appreciate this story

October, latter half

Aaron was giving Tyler a hard time at the dinner table. I can't remember what the disagreement was about, but Tyler suddenly exploded at Aaron, "YOU SAVAGE TWIG!!!"

(note: the above is not a typo. these were his exact words.)

(Mom almost had to go change her clothes!)

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A week before Halloween the whole family went on a shopping expedition to the local thrift store to find costumes for the kids. We found a bomber pilot's jacket for Aaron, and set about finding a white scarf and goggles, and hat that might look like an old-time leather pilot's cap. Everyone continued to shop around the store. I found a red power-ranger suit in the rack of canned costumes I could tell would fit Tyler perfectly. I put it over my arm and we continued to look around for Aaron's accessories.

While combing thru a box of hats and masks and wigs, Aaron and Tyler found a black witches wig, long and ratty, and when Tyler put it on, I had this brainstorm. Tyler has a favorite pair of jeans with a totally torn-out knee we call his "Satriani pants" because they remind me of the ratted-out jeans Satch wears in some of the photos on the Time Machine cd. When I saw Tyler in this black wig, I remembered he also has a flannel shirt at home that looks quite a bit like the one Satch wears in the video to "Summer Song".

I then found a floppy hat =just Tyler's size!= that looks a lot like the one Satch wears in "The Satch Tapes" video. I told Tyler he could be a rock star, in fact he could look just like Joe (not that the average person will recognize the look, but I figgered Tyler could just say his costume is a "Rock Star") and take his little white toy guitar with him, trick-or-treating. With the wig trimmed a bit he would have looked a lot like Satch on a "bad hair day."

But Tyler had his heart set on the power ranger outfit, so I left the wig and hat there on the table with the other stuff. Tyler has no idea how gosh darn CUTE he would be. Aaron found a hat he said made him look like "a motorcycle guy" which was what he'd wanted to be in the first place, so he was thrilled with that, and I put the long white scarf and goggles I'd found back on the table. Again, he would have been the perfect bomber pilot, but he's the one who has to wear the costume and the one who will enjoy being the thing he wants to dress up to be.

Maybe Tyler can be a rock star next year, whether dressed as Satch, or just dressed with long-hair and a guitar. (We'll NEVER find that perfect hat and wig again though, not in a million years.)

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21 Dec 1997

[[Tyler commented on "The Feeling"]] - "he plays that on the banjo - but no whammy bar."

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4 Jan 1998

Tyler wanted to put his favorite Satch songs onto the blank cassette that came with his little sing-along boom box. When he started, it was going to be /G3/, but the tape was only 60 min long, so we decided to make it a "Best of Satch for Tyler" tape. He wanted to start off with /The Extremist/ cd, and chose five (5) songs. I stepped in to guide him, telling him he could choose two (2) songs from /TE/. He chose "The Extremist" and "War". Next up he chose the /FIABD/ cd. I told him he could choose three (3) songs. This turned out to be a mistake, both on /TE/ and on /FIABD/ because the tape ran out of room before we could fit anything from /G3/ onto the tape. Nevertheless, Mom's limited foresight dictated 3 songs, and they were "The Mystical Potato Head Groove Thing", "Big Bad Moon", and "The Phone Call". (I let him include "The Feeling" since it is less than one minute.)

The next cd he chose was /Dreaming #11/. I told him he could choose ONE song - it was "Hordes of Locusts" - he commented, "that title is funny to me", so I asked him, do you know what "hordes" means? He replied sweetly, innocently, big smile, "no" so I gave him a quick definition, then I asked if he knew what "locusts" means - same answer - so I told him what a locust is, and what would happen if "hordes of locusts" descended upon any agricultural community.

Side B

With six cd's left in the pile to choose from, I told Tyler he chould choose ONE song from each of them. The first one he chose was "The Snake" from /Not of This Earth/. Next came the studio version of "Surfing With the Alien", then "Banana Mango II" from /Time Machine/, "Circles" - Live from /TM/, then the studio version of "Cool #9" from /Joe Satriani/. This left no room for his one choice from /G3/ ("My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Mama"), so he chose "Ice 9" - live from /Dreaming #11.

to re-cap Tyler's choices:

Side A

1. The Extremist

2. War

3. The Mystical Potato Head Groove Thing

4. Big Bad Moon

5. The Feeling

6. The Phone Call

7. Hordes of Locusts (live)

Side B

1. The Snake

2. Surfing With the Alien

3. Banana Mango II

4. Circles (live)

5. Cool #9

6. Ice 9 (live)

Now for the *real* treat: while Tyler sat next to me on a kitchen chair and I taped these songs for him (and I got to watch him smiling and grooving to the music the whole time), Aaron was busy at the kitchen table conceiving and creating his own "Best of Satch for Aaron" tape *completely *from *memory, ie no cd's or cassette tapes at hand to which he could refer to make his choices. He simply opened a brand new 60 minute tape and proceeded to write twelve (12) song titles for Side A, and twelve more for Side B in pen on the little cardboard insert that fits around the tape.

I had to break the news, gently, all these songs would not fit onto a 60 minute tape. Furthermore, as we went through the cd's so he could chose his own "Best of..." playlist, I forbid him to choose any of the songs Tyler chose, since Aaron and Tyler can share these tapes, so I didn't want any duplication.

Herewith is Aaron's "Dream" Playlist, conceived from his own memory of the songs:

1. Tears in the Rain (studio)

2. Big Bad Moon (studio)

3. Cool #9 (live)

4. Surfing With the Alien (studio)

5. Banana Mango II

6. Always With Me, Always With You (studio)

7. Satch Boogie (studio)

8. New Blues

9. The Feeling

10. Back to Shalla-Bal

11. Dreaming #11

12. Midnight

Side B

1. Banana Mango I

2. Why

3. Circles (studio)

4. War

5. Driving at Night

6. The Snake

7. Motorcycle Driver

8. The Extremist

9. Ice 9 (studio)

10. Hordes of Locusts (live)

11. Memories (live)

12. The Mystical Potato Head Groove Thing

Here is what he chose, from what Tyler did not choose:

Side A

1. Headless Horseman (note)

2. Midnight (swta)

3. Memories (live) (d11)

4. Back to Shalla-Bal (fiabd)

5. Tears in the Rain (studio) (te)

6. Motorcycle Driver (te)

7. The Mighty Turtle Head (tm)

[[8. Surfing With the Alien (live) but there wasn't enough room on the tape, so the final cut chosen in its stead was...]]

8. Satch Boogie (live) (tm)

Side B

1. Cool #9 (live) (g3)

2. Luminous Flesh Giants (js)

3. Speed of Light (tm)

4. Summer Song (live - tm)

[[5. Headless (fiabd), 6. Satch Boogie (swta), 7. Driving at Night but these last three would not fit, and besides he had the live version of "Satch Boogie" on Side A, so what he chose instead was...]]

5. Ice 9 (swta)

6. Driving at Night (note)

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15 Jan 1998

last night while listening to FIABD cassette Tyler commented he wants to start his tour when he grows up with "I Believe" then 2nd song "Time Machine" - while murmuring supportive noises I told him most concerts start with a faster song like "Ice 9", saving the slower one for in the middle, like "Always WM, AWY" - told him Joe played that in the middle of the G3 concert - he seemed to accept this idea

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&&& Links to...

Front Door ... : ...Contents... ...Dragon... ...What's Cookin'...
Way Precious Kid Stories ... : ...more of the same...
G3 Concert Review ... : ...River Queen Showplace 9/28/97